Tonight we have something to say to our daughter Isabelle and her husband, Michael which we'll say in more detail privately. Even though we live continents apart (us in the UK, they in Japan), there's always the telephone, skype and emails which we try to utilise to the max.
So why blog publically about something privately?
- Both Michael and Isabelle are models of self-love. The world needs to see as much as they can of selfless love – there’s not much going around!
- We’d like to return to this post – and know where to find it!
- October 2005 Michael Ian Lobban, our son, is terminally ill with cancer.
- Michael (our son-in-law) and Isabelle (our daughter) announce the truly joyous news of a first pregnancy. This news brought so much joy and excitement to Michael and our family at a time of sorrow! Michael was so thrilled that he spread the news to our South African friends he is going to be an uncle a again! In retrospect what joy this brings to our hearts that Michael was involved like this: something normal amidst all the abnormalcies.
- Christmas 2005: Michael is so ill that the hospice Dr advises that Gordon needs to immediately come from the UK to South Africa to be with Michael (in his own flat). I was already in South Africa with Michael at this stage.
- Gordon, Michael and Isabelle go to Heathrow airport and book the first available flight for Gordon to Port Elizabeth, SA.
- Michael and Isabelle take Gordon to Heathrow on Boxing Day and briefly return to our home, where they’ve been spending time with Gordon over Christmas.
- Michael and Isabelle return from the UK to Germany by plane, and with Isabelle being very ill during the night before, they go straight to the Dr in Germany, on arrival.
- A day or two before New Year 2006: After the monitoring of the pregnancy, they hear the very very sad news that their expected baby no longer lives.
- The Dr advises Isabelle against travelling to South Africa straight after the miscarriage. Both want to get to Michael Lobban, their brother, without delay, as he was getting weaker and closer to his last day.
- Michael and Isabelle arrived in South Africa from Germany within less than a week. How difficult a long-haul flight for Isabelle, physically, for both emotionally in their loss and facing the approaching loss of their brother.
- January 2006. As did Liesl (our 2nd daughter) and Jason (our son-in-law), Michael and Isabelle also gave their all to their brother who had not long to live.
- Isabelle, having gone through the trauma of a miscarriage, NEVER complained, always directed the attention back to Michael’s suffering and the loss of our son as parents. Both focused completely on their brother and not on their own loss. Sympathetic selfless love...
- Well, even though the sad, sad event of your miscarriage has been part of our conversations, your loss never got the attention it FULLY DESERVES. Yes, we also had a third loss when my dad passed away 8 days after Michael. It takes TIME to mourn multiple losses.
That precious baby would have been your dearly-loved first-born and would have been our dearly-loved grandchild. As grandparents we feel the loss too and feel it acutely. As an extended family, we would have loved to welcome and coo over him or her! With you, we believe that your baby is a living soul and as we know………. people and unborn babies aren’t mere mortals –they are immortal souls And so too the soul of your first baby will live for ever and ever!
King David was convinced, at the death of his baby-boy that when he as the father dies, he will go to that child. What a wondrous promise!
2 Samuel 12:18 On the seventh day the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, “While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.”So tonight we say……………..thank you for self-less love, Michael and Isabelle!
19 David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. “Is the child dead?” he asked.
“Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.”
20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.
21 His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”
22 He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ 23 But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”
Tonight we remember a very special first baby for you both and we honour his or her eternal existence. And we are so thrilled at the births of your two daughters, Josie and Evie in the years that followed. And thrilled about the sons to Jason and Liesl our 2 grandsons, Joshua and Jesse.
“The Lord gives and the Lord takes away – Blessed be the Name of the Lord!”
Especially at “How to help your grieving friend” in the right-hand tab.
With our love and joy in all our children and grandchildren – those on earth and those two in heaven.
How we are all loved by a merciful Father!
Dad and Mom
Evie
