Disappointment-Management

 
 
 

 

If there was not a big earthquake in Tokyo on 11 March 2011,  with two disasters following, Gordon and I would have been with our family in Japan on a visit from the UK.   How we were looking forward to the meeting at the airport - looking out for our children Michael and Isabelle at Narita, with our little granddaughters.  It's over a year since we last saw each other - we've been missing one another!   Many a time we dreamed of picking Josie and Evie up and hold them tight to our hearts, swing them around & get to know them again.  Sure as cookies there would have been many a bear hug among the adults. We were excited to see them in their home and in their new country, Japan. 

What a disappointment - but what a relative disappointment.  Relative, because Michael and Isabelle and the children experienced the trauma of the earthquake personally and then there are the thousands, bereft, homeless, looking for names on lists, evacuated from the Nuclear Power Station.  And for them we pray much.
Our cutest of cute granddaughters:  Josie in pink and Evie dancing in the rose-red party dress.


And now on to the topic at hand:  Disappointment.
Disappointment comes in all sizes, doesn't it? Any time our hopes and expectations are not realized, it strikes. It could even, if we allow it, permanently change our lives and shadow our reactions to everything.   Some of us are disappointed over the government, children, parents, leaders, teachers, employers, siblings, friends, terminated dreams.  Disillusionments in people and/or circumstances abound.
Of course, we have our own share of letting others down, intentionally or not. Some may be disappointed in God and who of us ever escapes being disappointed in ourselves?
In our struggle with our recent,  fresh but relative disappointment, we’ve discovered the following: either as reminder or for the first time.   We hope there’s something here for you.

Some Causes of Disappointment.

1)  Unrealistic expectations  
2)  Misplaced hope in people and circumstances
3)  Rigid expectations of God – on our terms
If He would only keep the schedule we’ve laid out for ourselves!
4)  A deceiving devil 1 Peter 5:8.
5)  Nobody’s perfect - that includes me.
6)  Egocentricism
Has our culture made us believe we are the centre of the universe -  the perfect set-up for disappointment.

Some Disappointment-management

1)   Nip disappointment in the bud.
2)  Accept the mystery of life.
3)  Let go of disappointments
Love and forgive graciously in all humility.
4)  Adjust our expectations.
It's urgent to change our expectations to realistic levels. 
5) Face up to the realities of disappointments.
  The Bible is very clear that trials do come (e.g. 1 Peter 4:12).
6)  Don’t suppress your disappointments
Face up to them, mourn them, and bring your heartaches and questions to God.
7) Know God’s promises and character
Don’t manufacture promises that God never made! !
8) Stand firm
The most important time for our faith to be sturdy is precisely when we are disappointed.
9)  Find your fulfilment in Jesus Christ
 He wants us to trust in His goodness, even in the midst of our deepest disappointments.
10)  Contentment - the antidote to disappointment. ”I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' (Philippians 4:11-13) Contentment overcomes disappointment.
11) Be patient
This does NOT mean you’re simply a victim and that nothing ever works for you.
12)  Recount God’s faithfulness in your life.
Gratitude can truly change our lives, don’t let self-pity  control your life.
13)  Trust your Father, His will and His love for you.
Don’t let disappointment pull you away from finding out what His will is. His will is far more ambitious than our biggest dreams and human expectations.
14)  Focus on the ultimate hope that is in Jesus Christ
See the big picture in the midst of disappointments and hold on to your supreme hope in God.
15)  Rely on God to help you in your disappointments
God offers compassion, forgiveness, hope & encouragement to those who trust in Him.
Beyond personal disappointment
When things don't go as I had hoped they would, is that bad?

 Isaiah 61:3 “To grant those who mourn in Zion. To give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for a spirit of despair, that they would become trees of righteousness”.

God can take the disappointments & ashes of your life and turn them into something very beautiful. The initial disappointment may actually turn out to be a gift which saves you from much greater grief.

What are God’s expectations of us?

Perfection!

God expects us to love Him exclusively, no other gods, only Him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and to love people as Christ has loved them. What a disappointment we have been to God?! His holy character cannot adjust the expectations – so in His holy love God gave His one and only Son, Jesus, so whoever believes in this perfect Saviour will never perish but have everlasting life. Jesus took on Himself all my sins and paid the price for them with His blood and gave me His perfect righteousness which gives me access to God and the gift of reconciliation with a perfect God

Our own genuine deep disappointment with ourselves and our sin.

(repentance)

But before I’m reconciled to the Father, I need to repent – which is to be utterly disappointed with my sin, and so sorry that I turn from it, say no to it, turn to Jesus and say yes to Him.
There’s so much more, but this post is getting too long!
May you, in every big or small disappointment, be filled with the fullness of God's love and may your life abound with lots of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, meekness, gentleness, and self-control! (Gal. 5:22-23’) And know that God’s grace and forgiveness abound!




Our hearts still ache to be with our children, but the sting of the disappointment is fading.