One of the real joys and fun of face-book is getting in touch with old friends. Having crossed the 6th decade birthdays, our friends come from each of those last 5 decades: years & experiences that form part of our history. If you are still hovering at the spring chicken stage, you may very well think we are history!
For most of us, meeting again on Facebook, the questions are something along these lines: “What are you up to these days?” And if appropriate, “How many children do you have?” – and so on. I’m more than often stumped by this last question, not because my long- or short-term memory is completely shot, but because I don’t want to necessarily make it a shaggy-dog story. I can hardly say: at first we had 3 children, then we had 5 children and then we had 4 children, and all the while ONE marriage - without a few explanations.
So when a dear student-friend who appeared on face-book out of the mists of the far distant past, shared their lives and asked after ours, I thought: “let me, once and for all, try to set it out in ‘at-a-glance’-format.”
(By the way, Michelle, we were fascinated by your family story and awed once again by our Lord and King and Saviour and Friend’s constant faithfulness and grace through the years – thanks for sharing!)
Our post-marriage-story in bullet-form
Geographical/jobs
- June 1973 Gordon and I got married near Johannesburg on a winter’s day end of June and went back to Bible College, Kalk Bay near Cape Town, to finish our last 6 months as Mr &Mrs/students.
- January 1974 –April 1977 – Johannesburg (Gordon starts B.Th. and is back in his pre-college job in accountancy.)
- April 1977 – to April 1985 (Presbyterian ministry: 3 years Monte Vista Cape Town and 5 years Tarkastad Eastern Cape). Gordon completes B.Th. (through University of South Africa)
- April 1985 – October 1999 – Port Elizabeth. Gordon completes B.Compt through UNISA (University of South Africa) and works in accountancy.
- October 1999 – the present. We emigrate to the United Kingdom – ancestral visa – Gordon’s grandparents were born in Edinburgh. Gordon works in IT Auditing up to the present.
Our children:
- Isabelle born 10 November 1974 – Johannesburg.
- Liesl Rene born 16 July 1976 – Johannesburg.
- Michael Ian born 17 November 1978 – Cape Town.
(Gordon’s sister, Joy, sadly had a stroke at age 36 and 8 years later Dan, passed away, after kidney problems.) At that stage their daughters, Stephanie and Naomi came from Cape Town and we all became one family in Port Elizabeth - end of 1989:
- Stephanie 15yrs and 8 months
- Isabelle 15 years and 1 month
- Liesl 13 years and 4 months
- Naomi 12 years and 6 months
- Michael 11 years and 2 months
The sum: 5 children 4.5yrs apart.
- Liesl married Jason Sanders, July 1999 (they have two sons) – New Zealand
- Isabelle married Michael Schmidt January 2000 (they have two daughters) - Germany
- Stephanie is married to Charles (one daughter), Eastern Cape, South Africa and Naomi is unmarried, & when not working all over the world on ocean cruisers, based in Cape Town.
Our Michael was diagnosed with inoperable Ewing's Sarcoma of the spine in October 2004 – in South Africa. He went through 14 sessions of chemo therapy (5 hospitalised days every 3rd week) and 35 rounds of Radio Therapy. At the end of October 2005 the Port Elizabeth oncologists concluded there was nothing more they could do for our son.
Michael came to Royal Marsden Hospital in London for 3 appointments, resulting in the same prognosis. Gordon and I, Michael and Isabelle and Jason and Liesl (with hospice guidance) nursed Michael in his flat in Port Elizabeth until he – to use bible-language – fell asleep in Jesus – on 23 January 2006, 2 months after his 27th birthday.
It might sound a bit strange – but it's true: our Michael first passed from death to life – then from life to death, to start real forever life. And all because of God’s amazing amazing grace. This grace was made known when He gave His only Son Jesus. And so it came to be on old year’s eve 2005, Michael called Gordon and I into his room, he prayed and repented of all that stood between him and peace with God and rested by his own faith in Jesus’ death and resurrection. That night Michael passed from death to life was made alive with Christ – he was forgiven and such a visible peace came over him.
For now we can just sum up and say we love/d Michael very much and long for him – like crazy. At the same time we feel and are safe and secure in the plans of our Father, our Rock Whose compassionate nearness and sustaining power are all ours at every stage of this journey.
Our Lord’s ultimate plans outshine the highest ideals any parent can have for a dearly, dearly loved child and we are proving daily that to rest in His faithfulness and love is enough.
In His grace, He gives us space to hurt, to ask questions even to reason with Him – but who can “win the debate” against His wisdom, His love and the most brilliant future Jesus has won for every single forgiven one?
To keep the account trimmed, I’ve tried to type the hard facts without elaborate personal responses. Oh dear the short account is already more shaggy than no-frills. Plus I've not managed to say more than the very basic about our girls and their hubbies – but that is no measure of our love for them and our grand-kiddo’s – they know that!
Zephaniah 3:17 is true of everyone in Christ:
“The LORD your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.”
We wonder what the Lord’s singing sounds like in heaven? Such grace, such a future, such a salvation, such a Saviour, such pure exuberant and lasting joy!
Looking back over the days and decades, our marriage, our children, our children’s children – “Who like us His praise should sing!”
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Our children: